Are your thoughts, words and actions all aligned with the vision of the life you want to create?
Do you even have a clear vision for the life you really want, or are you moving through each day on autopilot, thinking, saying and doing the same things you’ve thought, said and done for years?
Are You Operating From Design or Default?
One of the things that I speak about often, to my clients, students and basically anyone who will listen, is the fact that most of us operate in ways that are counterproductive, and often sabotage, the life that we really want. That’s frustrating, right?
So why is that? Why do we act in ways that often don’t get us what we want or even, perhaps, cause us to lose what we have gotten? So many people I know, myself included, have gotten so frustrated trying to practice the Law of Attraction by changing their thoughts, but still fail to get the results they’re hoping for.
Or maybe you keep repeating patterns of behavior that you know aren’t good for you but you just can’t seem to stop. Just when you think you’ve made progress something triggers you, or your anxiety ramps up, and you’re back to square one. Only now, you may feel even more defeated or upset with yourself.
The reason is that this goes way beyond your thoughts. Don’t get me wrong….your thoughts do matter and it is important to be aware of them, to speak what you want and not what you don’t want, to express gratitude, etc.
You Only Know What You Know!
But your thoughts, which come from your cognitive brain, are like the tip of an iceberg. They are what you know that you know, but they are only a small part of the overall picture.
Imagine the much larger part of the iceberg below the surface, out of your conscious awareness. This is where the action really happens, what’s really driving that iceberg!
Simply put, by the age of 7, you had already developed your basic ideas about the world, whether or not you were safe, and if your needs were going to be met by the people around you.
In a nutshell, your developing brain learned how to survive in the environment you were raised in. The patterns of thought and behavior that you adopted were basically your survival blueprint, the way in which you would protect your safety in the world.
Perhaps you learned to stay quiet so as not to draw unwanted attention. Or maybe you become a jokester to keep people happy or learned to take care of the emotional or even physical needs of your family members. Your patterns developed as a form of protection against hurt, disappointment, rejection, disapproval or withdrawal of attention or affection, to name a few.
Those survival skills were important for you as a child but they may not be serving you as an adult. I’ve often said, the protective patterns you developed as a child are now preventing you from being the person you want to be.
Your Nervous System is Key
To understand this, it’s important to know that your nervous system has 2 basic parts, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. As our brains develop, one of these two parts become our predominant.
The emotional states connected with the sympathetic nervous system are anxiety, fear, negative anticipation and being on “high alert”, with shallow breathing and racing heart. You tend to be more rigid and inflexible in your thinking, often getting triggered by internal or external events.
The emotional states connected with the parasympathetic nervous system are calm, relaxed and at ease, with deep breathing and slowed heart rate. You tend to be flexible, open minded and more willing to take risks and try new things.
You can see how this will keep you stuck and unable to create the life you really want.
The good news is that you can heal these old patterns and rewire your brain and nervous system so that you can operate more from your parasympathetic side. This shift is life changing!
As always, I’m happy to hear from you and answer any questions you might have. Feel free to reach out!
From my Sacred Heart to yours,