The Best Laid Plans

Have you ever had a great plan that crumbled in the face of something greater?  That happened to me recently and revealed a deep personal struggle which, after considerable contemplation, I’ve decided to share with you.

In late August, as a sort of “summer’s over, back to school” promotion, I’d planned to offer potential new clients an opportunity to have a conversation to see if they were a good fit to coach with me. I’m not a big marketer and so even putting the offer out there brought up my fears about being judged, appearing inauthentic or being only interested in making money.

Trust me, these are old fears that I’ve been staring at for a long time!

But I was going to put my offer out anyway, fear be damned!

Then Life Happens

Then life as we know it went sideways.  Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria, wildfires out West, earthquakes in Mexico and a horrific act of violence in Las Vegas, devastated people’s lives in unimaginable ways.  And now there appears to be another hurricane bearing down on the Gulf Coast.

How could I possibly be marketing myself and my services when so many people are experiencing so much loss and pain?  Would it seem like I was somehow trying to capitalize on tragedy? Would I be seen as cold, uncaring or trying to take advantage of these terrible events?

This is a question and an issue that goes deep to my core, and to a deep core fear.

Years ago, before I opened my private practice and healing center in 2004, I completed an online Law of Attraction digital “journal” called the Rooms of Creation.  Each room had a different focus, from initial vision, to fears, action steps and others I don’t remember.

It’s not an understatement to say I was shocked by what I wrote, or should I say “what wrote itself through me” in the Room of Fear. It was as though I was taken over by some foreign entity and things poured out of me that I never knew were there.

Fears and Shadows Revealed

The theme around my core fear was basically that if I promoted myself or my work, I would be seen as a charlatan claiming to be someone that I wasn’t, making false promises to do things and create results that I couldn’t deliver on, being called out as a fraud and publicly shamed and humiliated.

Think stoning, stocks and imprisonment. You get the gist. Trust me when I say it wasn’t pretty.

Now, I’m generally a pretty confident and positive person, not adverse to taking risks and trusting in the goodness of people and the Universe.  Needless to say, I was shocked at what was bubbling up from the bowels of my subconscious.

Over time, as I dove more deeply into healing past lives and ancestral history, I better understood where these fears came from.  Understanding the root cause, and doing the healing work over these last 13 years, has made it easier for me to put my work into the world.

But let’s just say that marketing myself, and standing in my true value, is still not my strong point!  Somewhere deep down inside there is still a residue of this fear of being seen as inauthentic, a charlatan or focused more on making money than serving humanity.

My rational mind knows this is far from the truth, and I’m pretty certain that most of my clients and people who know me would be shocked to know that I struggle with this underlying fear. But as we know, our irrational minds and shadow parts are another thing all together!

Higher Calling

In the midst of this “to market or not to market question”, I also stand firmly in knowing that I have a big mission and purpose in the world. I’ve known this since I was a little girl, declaring that I was going to be a priest and save the Host in the Sanctuary from invaders. How does a 7 year old even come up with that? LOL.  I thought all the kids in my class wanted to do that and was quite surprised to find out that they didn’t.  And I can only guess that being told that I couldn’t be a priest may have been the beginning of my radical feminist leanings!

Having a big purpose has been confirmed many times by both physical and non-physical messengers in ways that are quite undeniable.  Without going into lots of detail, I’ve been getting the message clearly since about 2005 that my purpose had to do with balancing the masculine and feminine energy on the planet.

Well, that explained being raised with 6 brothers, my early interest in women who challenged social norms, a degree in Women’s Studies and work in the areas of sexual assault, domestic violence, reproductive rights, economic justice and child abuse.  I’d often wondered what drew me into those arenas.

Balance What?

Honestly, though, I had no idea what it meant to balance the masculine and feminine energy, even though it rang true deep inside me.

Through the years, the messages kept coming and got more clear, with Jesus and Mary Magdalene telling me that I was here to help create Heaven on Earth, through the deep healing of the feminine. So this has been the focus of my work, helping women to heal their deepest wounds so that they can step into their divine feminine truth and power, and as a consequence we can begin to tip the balance away from the egoic masculine.

Two Sides of Me: Social Activist and Spiritual Peacemaker

Since my ordination as a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking in 2005, I’ve looked for answers as to how to balance my social activist nature, which often meant fighting against injustice, inequality and abuse, and my vows to be a peacemaker, and my greater understanding of the Laws of Attraction.  If I fight against, I am giving my energy to that which I do not want. If I do not fight and raise my voice against injustice, then what do I do? I have to honor all aspects of my Self in my service to humanity and this process of Ascension that we are undergoing.

So how do I stand for justice, equality, kindness, intuition and compassion? How do I invite the re-emergence of the energy of the Divine Feminine in a way that is in alignment with my vows as a spiritual peacemaker? I have a lot of ideas. And I’m not completely sure, but the words Divine Feminist ReUnion keep coming up for me.  Divine, as in how we are all created.  Feminist in alignment with the Sacred Feminine, not the more “masculine” directed energies of the early Feminist movement.  ReUnion as in, we’ve been here together before and now we’re back to do it differently and really complete our mission! Are you with me?

These are new times and new ways are needed. Sounds like a movement in the making! To be continued…..

I absolutely and fiercely believe that it is time for women to heal their deepest wounds, join together in supportive community and provide new ideas and solutions to a world that has been driven by the out of balance egoic masculine energies of greed, power over, corruption and disregard for Mother Earth for over 2000 years.

This is not about men and women, this is about an imbalance of energy within ourselves and in the collective unconscious. Conscious, enlightened men are also an important part of this equation.

As I’ve been sitting with all of this, the fear of being misunderstood and judged if I put my programs out there, alongside my absolute belief that it is time for me to step up and serve in a bigger way, I realized that it was precisely because of these crazy times that this is exact right time for me to dive in and take a strong stand for the healing, awakening and transformation of the divine feminine, in women and in men.

Every act of healing and awakening by an individual supports the healing and awakening of the collective.  Every individual who is courageous enough to dive in and do her/his own deep healing work is also taking a stand for a better world for ourselves, our children and all children everywhere.

When we remove the blocks to our own greatness, and tap into our passion and our unique gifts, we’re able to  contribute to a world that is more humane, loving, compassionate and heart-centered. We balance the divine masculine and feminine energy within ourselves and on the planet.

This is how we save ourselves from ourselves.

That’s what I’m here to do.  And in order to do that I need to let people know that’s my passion, my mission and my purpose.  And that means marketing in a way that feels authentic and in integrity.

So here it is! If what I’ve said resonates with you, if you’re feeling a calling to be, do or have something greater in your life, let’s talk.

We’ll talk in more depth about your life, your dreams, where you get hijacked, and how I might be able to support you. I promise, there’s no obligation and no heavy selling, just a conversation that will be clarifying and transformational.

If nothing else, we’ll connect and have a great conversation.

Click on this link to schedule your Discovery Session.

From my sacred heart to yours,

Catherine